Weight loss (or the lack there of)

I need something fast that doesn't include fasting. I hate the way my body looks lately--- the giggle that my thighs made today made me shiver at the thought of being nekked. Especially makes me worry about what my poor husband has to be seeing as I disrobe! The dark- she is my friend!!

I have done Weight Watchers. It is complicated- I know, I know. They've tried to make it as simple as possible what with the "points" system, but I hate carrying around a book or logging in to my phone every time I put a bite in my mouth. Then, the whole concept of saving points till I need to splurge--- let's just say, I don't have points left over to splurge with! I DO like the idea that I can eat what ever I want. But I guess I can't have 2 pieces of Pizza Hut Meat Lovers pizza AND the cinnastix in the same day unless I eat NOTHING else all day long. Not my idea of a good diet.

We did the HCg diet that Dr. Oz has a strong opinion about- he still hasn't decided that it's a good or a bad diet. I can say this- if you can't give yourself an injection, don't waste your time or money on the "under the tongue" sublingual drops. They just take too long! The injections really do work so long as you stick to the diet that Dr. Simeons prescribes. But that's the problem for me. I see that peanut butter and jelly sandwich that my baby boy has only half eaten and left on his plate. And I just can't resist the sticky and sweet spread between two honey wheat sitting on that Mickey Mouse plate! The diet Dr. Simeons prescribes includes one of about 20 vegetable choices, 100 g of very lean meat, and a handful of fruit or an apple or orange. Twice a day. Coffee for breakfast. For 40 days. It is the longest 40 days I've ever lived. I can imagine poor Noah and his family and their diet those 40 days and nights on the arc and believe it couldn't be worse than this diet!

Adkins, South Beach, and other fad diets are a way for me to lose about 10 pounds then gain 20. I suppose I could get off my butt and exercise, but the last time I did that (back in July) I broke my heel doing jumping jacks! However, I do have a will to get this weight off. A goal that I've made is to run/walk the Color Run in Fondren this March during the Zippity-Doo-Dah weekend to raise money for the "chirren" of the Blair Batson hospital. And if I get to the point where I can do that, I suppose my giggly thighs will be pretty enough to wear my costume to march in the parade!

Turning Mommy to the "Off" Position for a few days...

My family did without me this weekend. I took off Thursday afternoon for a time of decadent retreat (notice I'm not saying relaxing!) with a terrific crew of people called the Sweet Potato Queens. Jackson, Mississippi, didn't know what to think when we arrived and began playing and partying at the Hilton on County Line or in the awesome neighborhood of Fondren, a friendly area going through a renaissance. We shopped, we danced, we dressed in crazy costumes. We even made some great friends as we called ourselves the "Prim and Improper Queens". My favorite moment of the weekend? When my new friend, Lil Jen, won the Big A-- Crown in the raffle. She was absolutely fabulous being crowned by THE Sweet Potato Queen herself, Jill Connor Brown. Well, that and finding two new drinks, one at Babalu and the other at Sal and Mookie's, that will knock your socks off they're so tasty!!

If you haven't ever heard of this, bless your heart. You are now assigned homework. Download, purchase, borrow (I really don't care how you get it) the Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love. It's the first one she wrote, and it gives the basis of my reasons for wearing a crown throughout the year, not just one weekend in March. Why do I wear a crown? Easy. I don't need an official pageant organization to tell me I am awesome. I already know it. (Modesty isn't one of my strong suits!) I love ME, jiggly rotund belly and all. I truly believe that if more women put on crowns every once in a while, we'd rarely have incidences of domestic violence because those women just wouldn't put up with the crap.

Next year, after you've read at least one of the books, how about turning off your Mommy switch and join me and about 500 of my closest friends as we kick up our heels and try out some new dance steps as we celebrate our uniqueness as the Bouffants rock out on the Big Hair Ball stage! (Hint Hint, Jill! We want them back at the Hilton!!) You might even try out some Habanero Tequila Lil Jen serves up in the Cantina!